Sphere of Archives

February 5, 2003

I'm Living Proof.

You can change your life. I came back from Christmas holidays determined to do things a little differently. I needed to shake things up in my life, experience new things, become a better human. I've got big plans, and they will happen.

• First thing was cooking. That's right, new Eric cooks his own food. I'm way beyond cinnamon toast. I've made spaghetti sauce, Finnish pancakes, and cake. I came so close to make muffins last week (from a mix), but cleaning those pans is a pain, so it didn't happen. Someday, though.
• I'm doing a better job watering my plants. Yes, new Eric tolerates other living things. I was overwatering some of them and underwatering others. This year, the plants get the water they need, when they want it. One of them in particular is now showing a lot of new growth. I've also placed more of my plants near windows. It was surprisingly easy to do.
• I drink less coffee at work. New Eric gets high on life, not caffeine. I still have a cup in the morning to get started, because I don't eat breakfast. After that, it's just one or two cups of tea. Now I'm a little more relaxed at work, and I sleep better at night.

I can already feel the improvement. I'm awakening the beaver within. I'm ready to take on the world!

Febraury 10, 2003

Acting the Part

It's the annual "Quarterly Job Performance Review" for my department. Standard operating procedure is take last year's quarterly review of objectives reached and new goals, and change the dates. This time around new forms were issued, forcing everyone to scramble and think, then get frustrated and throw something together at the last minute, then hope that the manager will notice and will sort it out at a more convenient time. So, yesterday it happened to me. I couldn't wait to get out of the meeting with my manager, and back to staring at my computer screen. Will I every reach my career goals? I'll let you know next quarter.

Febraury 11, 2003

My Personal Soundtrack

I promise this will be the last item about work this month. Can you believe the last work-related e-mail I got was Friday? I haven't gotten any phone calls either. It's bad. I've resorted to reading RFCs on Mobile IP. Soon, I'll be playing Mine Sweeper six hours a day. And it's not as if I'm trying. Right now, reading Internet standards is the most valuable use of my time. Well, I suppose I could redo the Perl scripts for the lab hardware database, hoping to make the code more efficient while creating a better user interface. On second thought, nah.

Meanwhile, I've got eighties hits going through my head. Every morning it's "Mirror in the Bathroom". By the time I badge in at work, it's "I Wanna Be a Cowboy". Right now, I'm listening to "Drugs in My Pocket". This is what I get for infringing RIAA copyright.

Febraury 16, 2003

It's All in the Special DVD Edition

The only thing notable this weekend was viewing "Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers" on my friend Ken's DVD player, but there were fun moments. First, would you believe he was bragging about the formats supported by his player? His can read CVD format, while my DVD/VCR combo cannot. He urged me several times to return my crummy player for one like his so that I could play copies of his pirated videos. Ken is the kind of person who will drive across town to save a few bucks on a saw blade, and then days later return that blade when he finds he can save another fifty cents at another store. Buyer's remorse in the extreme. Hence, his irritation upon seeing that I don't care.

Second, would you believe how naive his cousin is? She's in her senior year in high school, and she hasn't finished reading the first book of the trilogy. She has all sorts of questions about the back stories, character and later events in the movies. Naturally, she turns to me for assistance in understanding the convuluted mythology and the enormous efforts taken to bring it to the silver screen. Here are excerpts from my running commentary:

• Elijah Woods' eyes are really that big. And he really is short. In fact, they used CGI to make him look taller.
• It's too bad the guy who played Gollum won't get an Academy Award. He sacrificed so much for the role. He got part of his spinal column removed, and two ribs on either side. Plus he went on an extreme diet. He weighs, like, 50 pounds in the film. And he had chemotherapy to keep his hair from growing back.
• Yeah, it was all shot in New Zealand. They've got the mountains, the jungles, the forests, everything. They've got dwarves there, too, but they call themselves 'Kiwis' because they think 'dwarf' is derogatory.
• Elrond always looks pissed because he's thinking about how to get revenge on Neo.
• Peter Jackson had to make a lot of changes to the story. It's too bad he had to cut out all the sex scenes. That was to avoid getting a 'R' rating -- 'R' for 'rambunctious'.
• Rhys-Davies had to spend 23 hours in make-up to get into that Ent suit.
• The oliphaunts were grown from mastodon DNA that was found in the Russian arctic.

February 21, 2003

Fly Like An Eagle

It has been two years since my department gave out purely symbolic performance awards, what with "the Troubles" and all. The last time was with the previous director (now a car salesman), whose attempts at re-energizing the group seemed more likely to create resentment. So I felt awkward and unusual about this when we met for thirty minutes in the abandoned cafeteria between the lab areas. The director had made a fudge brownie cake decorated with patches of icing to mimic the keypad and screen of a cell phone. The awards were covered with sheets of photocopy paper taped together and rolled in on a little table.

The first award was the award for Team Spirit. It's a bit of rock with a dolphin carved on it ("because dolphins help each other when they're in trouble"). It was given to two of the technicians who do the cabling and installation in the labs. The next award was the Eagle award, given to hard-working people. It's a bit of amethyst with a silver bird perched on top. Believe it or not, this award was given to me and also the LAN administrator. Neither of us really wanted to take credit for it. I gave it to him, but before the end of the show he snuck it behind my elbow and left. The last award was the Inukshuk, given to people outside the department who had been a lot of help. There was someone from IT, from Real Estate, and from a project group. There was much rejoicing. After, we looked at the names of previous winners -- fired, laid off, laid off, quit, laid off, etc. I'm sure it's just a coincidence.

February 24, 2003

Sick In My Disease

Here's a fun little link from The Atlantic on "Caring for Your Introvert ". And don't forget to read the militant wing's manifesto.

March 6, 2003

Life In Plastic

I did something really bizarre for me. I decided to meet with a bunch of strangers even though all we had in common was an URL. There's this feature called meet-up. It's a chance to meet people who might have similar interests, sort of like Amazon's "people who like this book also like ...". So I signed up and waited for the official announcement of the meeting place. It was very stressful.

In the end, the meet-up was cancelled because less than five people in Ottawa signed up for it. I may never find out who "whyted" and "aaron.helleman" really are, the only other people listed in Ottawa. Oh well.

March 9, 2003

I Am The Artist

This morning I spent about two hours shovelling my driveway, my neighbour's driveway, and a bit of my other neighbour's driveway. Do all that work, a guy's thoughts naturally turn to... home decorating. My mom saved a bunch of covers from my big box of old The New Yorker magazines. I got some big frames from IKEA and some bristol board from Staples for the matte and got to work. The hardest part was doing a tidy job of cutting the holes in the bristol board for the two 9 pic by 9 pic matte. The next hardest thing was steaming off the subscription labels without damaging the pictures. The whole thing took almost four hours. My feet hurt from all of the pacing around the work table. It was worth it, though, because they look stunning.

March 10, 2003

Individuals Run For Cover

I signed an anti-war petition today. My street-cred just rose to the ceiling. I'm not going to tell my friends who are ex-military, because they'll just say in an annoyed tone, "Why bother?" At least, that's what they said last week when I mentioned I was against the US invading Iraq.

March 17, 2003

I'm Still A Couch Spud

Although I've only got basic cable, amazingly I still find stuff to watch. My current favourite channel has to be CPAC. First, they've got debates and speeches and all of that other good stuff. Second, occasionally I get to see some of my old Carleton professors and remark to myself that their hair styles haven't changed at all.

March 18, 2003

Orville "The Hammer" Santa

After hearing about this stuff, I think I may have grounds to sue the City, Orville Santa, the publisher(s) of "Black and White", and the Chronicle-Journal for informing me of this ado. They have caused me emotional distress (laughing too loudly) and physical discomfort (excessive eye rolling). Interested people may want to visit Santa's web site for a taste of the propaganda, but stay to watch the hypnotic dancing gavel.

March 21, 2003

Blink Once for "Yes"

I have mixed feelings about the dental hygenist that I see every six months. She's very nice and friendly. What I find annoying is her telling me her thoughts about politics and history and her daily tribulations and triumphs while she's poking around in my mouth. I want to respond, but I can only say a garbled "oh-ah" for fear that she stabs my gums. For the whole hour I have to sit still and listen. I think an enterprising dentist would install a television in the ceiling.

I guess the worst part of this check-up was that some problems were detected. I'm starting to get a cavity on my front tooth, but it hasn't eaten through the enamel yet. My fillings are going. It's been twenty years, and they're starting to crumble. Plus, the dentist is strongly suggesting that I get caps for two of my molars that I tend to grind (a habit that started recently). The estimate is $800 per cap -- more than it cost to replace the brakes on my car, almost as much as a mortgage payment. That's the price of beauty.